Episode 22: Dear Melissa - Answering Questions About PM Soft Skills

In this Dear Melissa segment, Melissa answers a subscriber’s question about ‘soft skills’ and why they are equally as important as hard skills.

Have a product question for Melissa? Submit one here and Melissa may answer it in a future episode.

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Q: What would you say to someone who's concerned about their assertiveness? [00:51]

A: I want to be careful with the language that we use [here] because a lot of times women get labeled aggressive if they're being assertive… I believe the way to handle this is being kind but firm. [Lay] out what you expect from the team, when the deadlines are, and then what the consequences are if they don't hit them… [Figure out] what’s motivating them, clearly communicate why you're doing things, why these deadlines are important… Be very firm about what's acceptable on the team and what's not. [1:21]

Q: What resources or experiences would you recommend for people who recognize the need for hard skills as part of product, but who would intentionally like to cultivate these soft skills (empathy, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence) as well? [9:06]

A: A lot of it was trial and error. I realized that I was hitting my head against the wall trying to figure out how to move a team in one direction… then I started to hit a series where I was having difficult conversations with people. I was having problems that were repeated and I looked at it and I said “if I want to be successful, I have to change what I’m doing wrong…” You have to get to know your audience, figure out what they care about, and try to frame everything around that, and how it helps them achieve what they want to achieve primarily. [9:30]

Q: What would you recommend a team of product managers to do if they’re headed by a CTO who does not have time for the team, or product management know-how? Can a product team ever be successful if they are led by someone who doesn’t seem to have organizational power? [14:03]

A: The hard fact is that a product team cannot be successful if they’re being headed by someone who doesn’t seem to have organizational power, and this is why we advocate for Chief Product Officer; you need somebody to fight for the product decisions on that level. In this case, you know you don't have somebody representing product management, so you're gonna have a technology leading product… or a sales leading product, which is not good because you're going to just be building things that don't scale too many different customers. [14:43]

Going to the C-suite yourselves may not be the option, but how do you surface up the problem? If it's a good C-suite they should start to see that this is an issue because the team might not be performing the way that they actually expected to be. I think you can go to the C-suite to have conversations about your individual products, not necessarily the same product leader but helps surface up what good looks like. [15:48]

Resources

Melissa Perri on LinkedIn | Twitter
CPOaccelerator.com
ProductInstitute.com